DABDA
7.24.7
The Kübler-Ross model identifies and outlines the five stages of grief. Although it's generally used to describe what one goes through when dealing with death, it can certainly be applied to many other situations. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally...acceptance: DABDA.
One part just doesn't make any sense to me, though: Bargaining. The other four stages relate to primal emotions intrinsic to each and every one of us. Bargaining isn't an emotion, though...It's a maneuver. It's more of an effect than a cause.
It seems to me that the act of bargaining should fall under the category of denial. It signifies an unwillingness to believe that something is unchangeable. I would think that anyone trying to hustle their way out of death's arms must certainly be in some kind of denial, right? Besides...it takes a certain type of person to attempt to bargain when absolutely no leverage can be had. It follows then, that this phenomenon cannot possibly be placed in a model designed to describe standard human reaction.
Of course, the removal of the bargaining stage would turn the well-known acronym into "DADA," which just sounds ridiculous. So, DABDA it is, and DABDA it will remain, I'm sure.
I suppose I got to thinking about ol' Kübler-Ross during my assault of a picnic table with a crowbar this morning. Obviously, I was in the anger stage.
It all began 9 months ago. That was when I accepted my promotion to Warehouse Controller. Of course, that doesn't mean I received the pay that went with it. Essentially, I got stuck in "interim" status, and spent month after month getting jerked around by our corporate headquarters in Florida. Aside from a little job-searching on the side, I've pretty much accepted the hand I was dealt. Finally, last week I was given the final details of my raise, including retro pay.
The pay wasn't quite what I had hoped for, but was still good enough to consider this a decent step up. The back pay, however, was going to be very nice.
Somehow, I must not have learned anything from the previous 9 months. If I had, I would have realized that there was still plenty of time left for the company to screw me over a little more. Instead, I went home to excitedly tell Autumn all the details. I then started doing all of the math to figure out exactly what I could do with all that money...
...this was all on Friday.
When I arrived at work on Monday, I was informed that someone had decided to change the deal. No longer was I going to get the full amount I deserved. I was now going to get three less months of retro pay. This decision was based solely on the idea that since another employee hadn't received retro for those months, I shouldn't either. This is what was described to me as "being fair."
I think I went through the denial stage almost instantly. Before Greg had even finished telling me what happened, I interrupted him with, "Did Josh put you up to this to get me back for last Thursday?" He denied the allegation and continued. When he had finished, I asked him again. Again, he confirmed that he was serious.
For the rest of the day, I remained in fairly high-spirits, though. I spent a good portion of the day in Greg's office joking about how heartless the company is.
It wasn't until this morning that the second stage kicked in. I was having a particularly busy call day, and it seemed like every problem that came my way was especially stupid. It was then that I remembered the picnic table out by the dumpster...the one a group of snowboarders had spray painted and broken two winters ago.
Of course! It needed to be taken apart and thrown away still! Since we didn't have a decent toolset, I would have to take it apart with a crowbar, right?
The random act of violence certainly made me feel better, but I remained pretty angry for the entire day. At times, I found myself literally shaking in rage. A call from the car dealership, where my new car was being worked on, only served to make things worse. (It turns out the problems I've been experiencing for the last 3 months are a direct result of a speaker installation I received at Best Buy.)
In any case...I feel pretty good right now, so I think I might be over the anger stage. All I have left is depression and acceptance. There's always tomorrow for those, I suppose.
One thing's for certain, though. I would do anything to have that extra retro pay back...
