Thank You
10.20.5
An unopened package of thank you cards sits in my junk drawer right now.
I have been meaning to use them to thank some family members for the birthday gifts they sent me. My birthday, however...was 2 months ago.
In years past, I had always simply called everyone on the phone to thank them. For some reason, though, my grandparents (on my mother's side) always made a big deal about how I hadn't written them a thank you note. I honestly never understood the difference. In fact, I always thought a call to be more personal, due to the fact that an actual conversation could take place as well.
For some reason, I resolved myself to finally putting forth the effort of sending out cards this year. There were only 2 cards to write. One to my grandparents (on my mother's side), and one to my uncle and his family. I set out a perfect plan in my head. I would send the cards out, and then 4 days later I would make phone calls. It was perfect. It was absolutely perfect except for the part where I didn't do any of it.
I don't know what happened.
At first I was suffering from my gumhole. After that I was recovering from the surgery that repaired the gumhole (Which, by the way, went quite well). And then...then it became a matter of spacing.
By the time I actually got around to writing the cards...it no longer seemed appropriate. I realized that I was about to send a thank you card weeks after the fact. I felt like I had perhaps passed the "statute of limitations" for a simple "thank you." I decided I now had to say something really special to make up for the lateness. As I tried to make the notes worthwhile, more time passed, and eventually it turned into a bit of a vicious circle.
To this day those cards sit and mock me. Taunting me for my inability to correctly utilize them. I haven't even spoken with either of the un-thanked parties. I'm almost embarrassed to. How do I start that conversation? I don't feel like anything could excuse my behavior, short of: "I've been dead for 2 months."
Interestingly enough, the time span of which I speak has also been notably short on cutaia.net updates. In fact, this has occurred for almost the exact same reason.
There was an initial pause caused by my surgery. This then led to a longer period of non-activity (My lack of motivation was also amplified by the fact that writing while not smoking is simply maddening). By the time I actually wanted to do an update, I didn't know what to say. I felt like I had to say or do something incredibly important after all that buildup. I toyed with the idea of filming a movie, or writing a cartoon. I even released a teaser for a potential future flash project in order to create the illusion that I was indeed working on something. To this day, though, the "Ink, Inc." series has not yet begun, and all the footage on my camera still remains unedited into glorious works of cinema.
I've done practically nothing artistic in 2 months (despite my earlier promises that I would never do this again), and I feel a bit like a failure.
I didn't even do an update to celebrate my site's one-year anniversary 6 days ago.
Eh...
It's not like I'd have gotten a thank you card if I had...
