Virii
8.1.5
I think my computer may finally be over its recent attack of spyware and viruses. (Or would the plural be virii? I think it should...)
It started out when I mistakenly clicked a link that was supposed to lead me to porn. Instead, it led to a barrage of pop-up ads and "spyware alerts." After that, a program automatically started downloading. At this point, a red "X" appeared on my taskbar, and began repeatedly telling me, "You have been infected with spyware! Click here!"
Now, first things first: I'd like to know who exactly is falling for this shit. Because let's face it...if this type of spyware exists, it's because someone out there is clicking the mysterious red "X" just because it tells them to.
Here's a hint...if your computer starts freaking out, and a brand new program downloads itself and tells you it can help...don't believe it! After all, isn't that kind of how we got kicked out of the Garden of Eden?
Anyway...the program was called "SpySheriff." It was a friggin' monster-bitch of a program, and took me probably a week to finally get rid of completely. But I did it. I kicked SpySheriff's ass.
It was a major pain in my ass, which left me with the following thoughts:
First...why is it that virii these days want you to think they're helping you? Computer crimes are already the least daring of all criminal actions. There is no face-to-face confrontation. There's no physical risk. Hell, half the time the "hacker" doesn't even know who their virii and spyware are affecting. Half the time there isn't even a purpose. Most virii simply destroy random data or cause irritation. I just don't get the mentality that goes into creating something that's sole purpose is to be a nuisance. (Congratulations...you've done something usually reserved for small children and Fred Durst.) If you're going to create spyware, at least design it to steal credit card numbers or something...
However, if you are going to create something simply to fuck with shit...at least have the balls to come out and say it. Don't hide behind some "helpful" little man in a cowboy hat. Whatever happened to the days when viruses showed you an animated skull-and-crossbones while deleting your hard-drive?
Also...I don't understand why websites that actually want visitors would install this crap on their sites. I don't imagine that a lot of people get a virus from a site and then return. I don't think that installing a virus on cutaia.net would make people come back that often.
Finally...I read today that Adidas has a new shoe with computer chips in it. Now, allow me to be the first to express sincere disappointment in anyone who buys a shoe with an onboard computer. But it gets me thinking...this can only be the beginning, right? I mean, eventually everything's going to be computerized. Everything's going to be connected to the internet. I wonder...just how long will it be before someone hacks into my toaster and burns every pop tart that I try to make?
I swear to God, if I ever lose a single piece of cinnamon toast because of some geek in a basement: I'm declaring war.
You can only push me so far...
