Whatever
2.24.5
I'd love to get back on the horse.
Despite the intermittent bouts of Kris-related depression that still haunt me from time to time, I am doing my best to get on with my life. In fact, I am trying very hard to find a girlfriend right now.
Thus far, I've been a bit unsuccessful. Some of this has to do with my currently abysmal financial situation. Some of it, though, seems to stem from the fact that I continually get involved with girls who have trouble calling me. First there was Jen, and more recently Chelsea.
3 days ago, Chelsea was supposed to call me. She didn't do so until the next day, at which point she apologized, and told me she would give me a call yesterday. As of yet I haven't heard from her.
A couple months ago when I experienced the same thing with Jen, I was still the kind of person who would call her instead. I would leave those stupid awkward messages: "Hey...just wondering what's going on. I guess, uh...give me a call when you get this." "Hey, it's me again...um...I guess I'll talk to you when you call."
The whole situation actually pissed me off quite a bit. I even remember writing a rather angry journal entry one night while waiting for Jen to call.
I recently came to the conclusion, however, that most of my disappointment in life comes from expectation.
So, this time around, I'm trying not to wait around for calls that probably won't be made. If she calls, she calls. If not, then...whatever.
That is the philosophy that gets me through my daily grind. "Whatever." Life just fucks me over too much when I care.
Still...
