Wake-Up Call
11.25.4
Every year the department stores all hold their big "Post-Thanksgiving Day Sales." Apparently this is a big deal in America. People across the nation trek all over their respective towns on the morning of the 26th, in order to get the best deals they possibly can on their early Christmas shopping. As if that weren't stupid enough, this year Target has found a way to make the process even more ridiculous.
If you go to Target.com today or tomorrow, you can find a section called, "The world's biggest wake-up call."
Here, you essentially enter in your phone number, and pick a time to be jerked from your blissful slumber on Friday or Saturday morning. All of this in order to be among the first to start shopping that day. Not only do you get this free wake-up call (Apparently Target doesn't trust our own alarm clocks when it comes to their potential profit margins), but you can also decide what kind of call will be made. Your choices range from irritating sounds (like crying babies or construction work), to messages from truly "respectable" celebrities like Ice-T, and Cheech Marin. What the hell, Target...no Carrot-Top?
All one must do is fill out a form, and you're set. Well, actually they then ask you to call a 1-800 number in order to confirm that you are actually requesting the wake-up call for yourself, and not for your friends or enemies.
I, however, decided that this would not be a problem. I filled out the form for several of my friends, setting "crying baby" wake-up calls for Friday morning at 6:00 am. At that point I called each of them and, with a sense of urgency in my voice, told them how important it was for them to call that 1-800 number...without actually telling them why.
"Trust me," I said...
So basically, when they called the number, a cheerful computerized message told them, "Thank you! Your wake-up call has been set for Friday morning at 6:00 am!" At that point there was nothing they could really do about it.
I recommend that everyone try this out. It's great fun, and is almost fool-proof (Assuming you have the kinds of friends who will call a phone number just because you tell them to).
Well, I suppose I should get started on the Thanksgiving "festivities" now...which this year means: cleaning the apartment, working on future site updates, and drinking as much as I can. I've decided to spend my first holiday sans-Kris simply being as productive as possible. As far as I'm concerned, this is just another day. I was able to keep one traditional aspect of Thanksgiving in my plans today, though.
And look...it includes "mostly white meat!"
Well, time to do...uh, something productive. Hopefully the next 12 hours will go by quickly.
Note: I would like to thank Target for coming up with such a flawed, and easily abused promotion. It certainly kept me entertained last night.
